i have tried the scheduled thing but there is always an excuse. if there is no excuse then there's the "let's get it over with". and when there's the let's get it over with, there's a good chance something is going to come up to make it a no go.
i suggest you present your offer to your H. it may just work for you. i think you've got it well reasoned; you are articulate and can put it forward in a positive manner.
i've tried and tried to get to the bottom of the less than LD position she's taken, and that I have come to learn is part of the problem.
i've tried the seesaw approach, but there's no advancement on her part back towards me.
i don't believe she's slept with anyone else, but i know she's fantisized about at least one past partner where it was clear the sex was frequent and "great".
today she indicated she wasn't thrilled with a weight control issue i've been struggling with as of late. she says maybe she'd feel more amorous if i was in better condition.
funny - i know how sensitive women can be about appearence with all the mass media emphasis. i've always always found my wife attractive with her weight fluctuations.
the problem for me is there's little to no reflection of the love i express towards her on her part. i think she's mentally disengaged.
i know this is gonna sound crazy, but if i say in a heart-felt manner, "i love you", this just makes things more difficult for her.
so - not only do i have to deal with not getting real intimacy (sexual or otherwise), i have to deal with being too expressive of my desire (and i don't mean just sexual).
