Hi All, thanks so much for the advice.
You are right about one thing, that is for sure, I am afraid. Afraid of my own feelings.

I'll tell you what happened this morning. I think I handled it pretty well and after reading your posts I hope you will agree.

Got the latest cell phone bill. It breaks down every call, minutes, origination, destination, incoming/outgoing... So of course I look at it and surprise, surprise H is still talking to OW right up until this past Sunday. One thing in particular stood out, he called her Saturday morning at around 11:00 then as you know he doesn't come home or call. His next call is at 5:00 when he called me to apologize and say that he was coming home. Well as you know I got a little pissy with him. Right after we hang up he calls her and they talk for 6 more minutes.

My heart starts pounding because I figure he called her at 11 to meet him then after our fight he calls her to tell her what a bitch I am. Now here is the part that I don't understand, when he came home he just wanted to hold me and lay with me forever and kept telling me how good it felt and then we proceeded to ML. So now I am hurt because I think to myself, geez, here I thought things were getting better between us, especially since we have resumed a sexual relationship again only to find that OW is still in the picture.

I am working tonight and won't see him so I decided to call him.

H: Hey, what's up?
M: I just got the cell phone bill. Can I ask why you are still talking to OW?
H: I talk to alot of people from my work, we are all friends. Didn't you see lots of numbers on the bill?
M: Well, this particular number always gets my attention. Were you with her on Saturday?
H: No, I was with the guys at the bar. I told you. Man, you sound like my mother.
Me: I'm not your mother, I'm your wife - remember? Your partner, the person you are supposed to share things with.
H: I know, I'm not doing anything. We just talk alot because I help her with her problems but if it will make you happy I won't talk to her anymore.
Me: I'm not stupid you know, you'll just go back to using your secret phone. If you would rather be with her I have no problem selling the house and filing bancrupty and we can be done or if she really wants to be a part of your life, maybe she can pay half the cell phone bill and pick the kids up from school and do your laundry.
H: Don't start doing anything drastic. Nothing is going on. I won't talk to her anymore. I love you and the kids, I love my family and no, I'm not just staying married because of the kids I am staying married because of you. I love you.
Me: Ok, I believe you and if you are truly just friends then I guess I don't mind if you talk to eachother but put yourself in my shoes. Would you like it if you found out that I was having secret conversations with another man?
And by the way, do you really work all this overtime or is that your way to spend time with her?
H: (a little mad) You see how much I make, now you don't even trust me when I'm working?
Me: I'm sorry but I really thought that things were getting so much better between us the last few weeks and now I feel betrayed all over again.
H: Things are much better with us. Nothing is going on, I promise. I love you.

He then kept me on the phone talking about other things for about another 20 minutes. He kept interjecting, "are you ok?, you are not crying are you?" I said I was fine. I thanked him for talking to me.

Now, I have chosen to believe him and will leave it at that. He knows I am not stupid. I am not going to bring it up again.

Did I do ok? I wasn't confrontational, I was actually very calm.