Quote: I am married to a guy who does not like to express his feelings
Mama,
It seems to me that one major issue right now is that YOU are not expressing YOUR feelings or needs (so, instead, you are being a bit b*tchy perhaps?)
How is this:
H, I want to share something with you. I think I am fighting with you about things that aren't that important because I am afraid to deal with what is really important. I want to ask for your help. I often feel very insecure, hurt, and scared. I would like to ask for your help in working through these feelings -- I don't want to feel this way any more than you want me to. It would help me if I could tell you when I was having those feelings and if you could respond with clear reassurance and support. So, like the other day when you were late, I was afraid you were with OW. I didn't feel like I could say that, so I fought with you about something else. It would have been much better for me, and probably you, if I could have simply expressed my fear. What I really needed was a hug and reassurance that you weren't late because of OW. I understand if you feel that you wish the whole thing would go away. I do too. But, it can't magically disappear. However, if we work through these things together, it will quit affecting our M a whole lot sooner.
OK, probably too long for one breath. But, I think it is time for YOU to communicate directly. If he is unwilling to be a loving and supportive H, too bad for him.
