Ok, here is another issue I am dealing with - need some advice.
H hasn't spoken or seen his parents/family since last October. I have to constantly make up excuses as to why we cannot attend this function or that. I will occassionally talk to them via phone or email or get together with them with the kids. My H gets all bent out of shape but his parents feel so hurt and just want to see us.
Once in a while my FIL will send us money to help us out and he always makes the check out to me. Well, we got one yesterday and this set my H off. "Why don't you go cash YOUR check" he says. I say it's not mine, it's for us. He doesn't understand why it's not made out to him and wants to rip it up even though we need it.
I had to work last night and he barely spoke to me before I left and when he did it was with an angry tone. This morning we talk on the phone a bit and I tell him that I am hurt that he is taking this out on me. He says it makes him feel like they are taking care of me, like he can't do it. I tell him that he never talks to me about his feelings anymore and he says yes he does (huh?). I say I don't even know why you have a problem with your family and he can't tell me. Then gets mad at me and tells me how can I talk to you when I'm working!!
He has so much anger, I feel like I am always walking on eggshells trying to please him. When the reality is I could have thrown him out when I found out about the OW a long time ago. I choose to get over it and try to improve our R and M.
I read in someone else's thread that even though their spouse lives with them they are "close but emotionally distant", that is how I feel most of the time. There are days that he looks at me like he hates me, is he just projecting his feelings onto me?
