What to expect

[PositivelyListening]

Hi MamaBear, I am so sorry you are having a tough day. Oh, uggghhh why does it have to be like this, where he is lying to you? That is a tough one for me, it is the one thing I can't tolerate. My H and I are S because he lied to me. My H may still think it is because he had an A, but it is not, it is because he lied. And every time he has told the truth, I have acknowledged him and told him that is the most important thing. So H is now telling the truth (with very little detail, however, as he still has a lot of shame), but at least every time he goes to see the OW he tells me before he goes. It does not make it easy, I can tell you that, but some how I still see this as a good sign. So MamaBear, it seems like you need to set some boundaries, what you will and won't put up with, make it clear, and stick with the logical consequences if the boundaries are violated. I get the sense that you will get fed up and explode, if you don't set some limits now. Just try to be logical, and not to have this conversation when you are emotional. Unfortunately, I have seen you get fed up a few times (in reaction to H's bad behavior - being late, etc.) and then the rest of the time you have been DBing but also maybe just not wanted to stir the pot? I am not sure where that balance point is between DBing (with no R talk) and setting some healthy boundaries for you. But it is somewhere in the place between looking the other way/sweeping things under the rug and exploding with anger. In the middle, with some rational preparation, there willl be a peaceful strong place. It is that that I am wanting for you MamaBear. Standing your ground with confidence and a peaceful heart. I will be around and checking on you. Sending you love and hugs tonight.