What to expect

[cat03]

Hey there, I'm glad first of all that he appears to want to recommit.

but there was no talk before, during or after. It's almost like it never happened

The first time we ML it was a spur of the moment, after he came back (the A had ended badly a few weeks before,-my best guess) we'd sleep together but he'd sleep away from me or wrap himself up.

There was no talk either, before or after, though weeks later he did tell me that it didnt' feel the same. I'm pretty sure he was still getting over Ow and as much as it hurts to admitted, he was very taken w/her, thought he loved her and then she dropped him in an awful way, add to that depression, so he wans't in the greatest shape.

Lots of WASs who are back, can't just turn a button and bam! back to being fully attractive and affectionate with the LBS. They need to heal from the broken R of the A and find it in them to learn to love us again. How wonderful he does acknowledge w/notes, my H never does.

There is lots and lots of guilt, my H also told me that, that he felt guilty and that was the other reason he couldnt' ML to me as before. We've also got into a huge argument where I lost it and asked him"do you miss her body?, is that the kind of woman you want now?'" and "you don't find me attractive anymore, you never compliment me or tell me I'm pretty". He told me he does think I'm pretty, but that he is honestly too tired (lame excuse though somewhat true, its' mostly that his mind isnt' in me right now), that he thought he was showing something by just sitting next to me and what did it matter who initiates affection. I told him I need him to reach out to me, that if he doesn't initiate contact I don't feel affection, that I knew I was pretty but needed to hear it from him. At the end he did acknowledge and told me he would remember what I'd say.

You and I need to be patient, when you start rebuilding an M in our case we have to go back to being friends, as much as we desire our H's, I want so much that desire he had for me before but we are just rebuilding our R and M and it istn' going to happen in a few weeks.
My H was goen on Sep 05 and came back on April 06, it's been a while, I hear it takes about a year for some WAS to find/rekindle the love they once had w/their spouses.

Hang in there hon))))