Yeah Lil I do see your meaning and I would understand how your girlfriend could feel that way because she obviously cared for her husband but more like a friend. As for him deciding to be happy with her finding love with another woman. Well...I guess we learn to live with lots of things that maybe weren't our original intention or preference especially when we have genuine respect and caring for that person.
After my first M went to crap and we D I haven't lost a single thought over his new sexual relationships. Actually, I'm glad when he has someone because he is happier and is able to be kinder to me then. However, I had long since lost sexual interest in him and had so I had no sexual jealousy. I'm just saying that if someone who I loved, who I wanted to have sex with decided that they needed to have sex with others - men or women I don't think I could have an "open" relationship and continue with the marriage. That is just me. I am someone who is truly meant for monogamy. Every time I have a little fantasy about meeting my libidinous needs outside my M but continuing with the M since H is a great Dad, a great guy and a great partner I ultimately come to terms with the fact that I'm just not built for that kind of confusion. I would wind up romanticizing Mr. Sex Partner and all that intention about not letting "affect" my M would be for naught. I guess that is what I end up thinking about the idea of an "open" M, that any partner who is given sexual license to operate outside the M may get sexual gratification only for a while but that ultimately they would be getting other needs met by their sexaul partner(s) that would negate the purpose of the M. I don't presume to say that it wouldn't work for other people (because apparently it does) I'm just saying that my sexual maturity doesn't extend that far - if I want to have sex with someone in a long term R then I pretty much want them to myself.
Karen, who would take her "ball" and go home rather than "share" her H
But hey Lil, I appreciate your confidence in my niceness. Sometimes the vengeful Scorpio in me makes me doubt it!
