It does indeed take all kinds... and there are different kinds of love.

I've mentioned in the past a man that I was intimate with off and on for over two decades. His W was bisexual and so was not particularly interested in him sexually, but they were devoted to each other. Sexually I was always absolutely satisfied with him, and I was also very fond of him. They would have easily included me in a three-way relationship, but *I* wanted the exclusivity of knowing that One Man loved me and chose me above all others. That man was my husband.

After he died, and in the subsequent turmoil of my R with my bf, I think I could go back to the ease with which I related to these two people. We were very comfortable with each other, and we always had lots of fun together. They were the kind of friends that when they came to my house I NEVER felt like I had to run around and clean up first! (No, she was never part of the sexual equation, although she was probably willing.) Alas, this man died a month before my H. His W, although she is in a new R with a woman, is still in deep grief over him-- it's been more than six years.

I have given up hope of finding a passionate emotional and physical/sexual connection with my bf. Maybe someday I'll find myself in another R-- I'm not THAT old! LOL! But after having been in all these different types of R's I can see more clearly how people can work out situations to their own satisfaction that look completely distasteful and even wrong to others...

I know you didn't mean it this way... but it's not that they are "better" than you... it's just that different people put the highest value on different aspects of the R. Clearly we see that on this board every day...