H wont have sex with me

[DFE]

Hi all,

I am back again. Some of you may have read my posts but for those of you who havent here is a little bit of history. Last year my H after an argument told me that he wanted a D and ILYBINILWY. We were still having sex at that point but not very often. He was more interested in masturbating. After much begging (which I truly regret) on my part we decided to try to work it out. We went to MC a few times before I was diagnosed with a tumor that required surgery. The next few months our marriage was put aside and he was with me throughout my illness up to a few weeks after surgery. We got into another argument at which time he confirmed my suspicions that he was just with me until I was back on my feet. We separated. Four months later I decided to return to my home. I gave him the choice of leaving and he did but a few days later he returned home. He became much nicer and more attentive. We are getting along a lot better and he is so much more affectionate. He will get into bed and cuddle with me and kiss me and grab me but that is it. We kiss on the lips but very quick and simple kisses. Nothing passionate. I get upset sometimes and we argue about how he doesnt want to be intimate with me. I am attractive and I get plenty of attention from other me so this is hard for me to understand. He says he gets his relief from masturbation. So I am wondering if anyone out there can answer something for me, if he really isnt having an A is masturbating that much better than being with me. Not to say this would be acceptable but cant men just close their eyes and have sex with anyone who is there? I mean isnt having sex with your wife better than with yourself? At this point I dont know if this is because he is no longer attracted to me, or that masturbating is so much easier, or that it has been so long since he has had sex with me that he just doesnt know how to initiate it?

I want to tell him how I feel but everytime I try we argue. Its a sensitive subject for him. I am thinking of writing him a letter.

Any advice anyone? I want to be intimate with my H again.