I'm in process of deciding about taking H "back" although it is never worded that way. IF H could somehow make me feel reassured that the past deceptions would not reoccur, I'd be a lot closer to saying yes. I have been more forgiving than I knew I could be and I am glad for that. ALSO, regardless of people who say it takes work, so do ALL R's and we underestimate greatly, how much work it'd take to be with new OP. But it's work either way and why not do it with the one you've got the years and chillden with? One other thing: my M was once quite good so I do have an image of what it can be like with H before the alien came. That makes a lot of difference I think, cuz' I read many here who have never been all that close or happy and might be trying to get something they cannot visualize and that is super hard. FWIW, I will let you know if H can meet me half way, or 1/5 the way or whatever. And I will very diligently work hard at telling the difference between pride ;and healthy self respect, and to keep on doing the loving thing....just wish it was always clear what that was....keep posting, it is interesting and like you, I see a silver lining no matter what. Last year at this time, I was terrified. I am not afraid anymore, or at least not as much. that is something.
j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
