I'm happy to see you again, but so sorry things are not going the way you had hoped.
May I ask you some questions then?
1. When you both decided to reconcile, did you establish clear goals and talk about what you wanted out of the marriage or did you both stay quiet about things hoping time would heal the wounds.
2. Did your H make an effort to change? Did he try to make amends for the ways that he hurt you? Do you trust him?
3. Do you feel comfortable talking to him about the things that trouble you or are you unable to communicate your feelings?
4. HAve either of you sought out individual counceling or marriage therapy?
I ask because I wonder if, when a reconcilliation happens after we have been DBers for so long, we are able to suddenly express our emotions again in a productive and healthy way, or if we stay silent as we did while DBing? How difficult is it to switch gears like that?
I know that keeping all your feelings in is bad, but we get into the habit of it when we DB right? Does it feel like a "risk" to open up?
Anyway SE, you are strong and wonderful and you will get through this. Can you turn back to the basics a little bit to try to impove the situation with H and yourself?
