I like to come to this forum and read. I want to know what the "could have been" feels like. I have a couple very near and dear to me who are piecing after one year (she had an affair but is doing EVERYTHING right to make up for it) and still, even though they are an amazing, beautiful couple, they have major bouts of difficulties, unhappiness, depression and anger.
So, in my wildly imaginative brain I wonder what would it have been like if my H and I got back together. Would I have been able to do the things necessary to accept him back? Would I be able to trust him again? Would I forever doubt his sincerity or love?
I see, as I read your posts here, how incredibly difficult it is to come back together. I know that this is a place to vent and things are probably not as bad as they seem here because we tell each other the good bad and ugly and sometimes what is on the page is different than what is at the home.
However, I really would like to know if you are happy now. Do you have doubts about whether it was the right thing to do? Do you ever find yourself wanting to walk away? Does your returning spouse try hard to earn back your love and make up for all the pain they caused or do they return to the old behavior that drove you crazy before the bomb? Do they take responsibility or try to sweepit under the rug?
I'd love to know what your different experiences have been. My hats off to all of you who are doing this work. I know how hard it is, how much self control it takes and I admire you all for the love in your hearts to do it. I wish I had been given a chance with my H, but it looks like that is not ever going to happen.
