Buddy you are confused and hurt right now. It sucks, but it's ok. What would suck more is if you were not confused and hurt. It shows you have a heart and that the affair was destructive and messing with ya.
I have felt some of what you have. Feel free to shoot me an e-mail and vent.
In the meantime DO NOT beat yourself up over the affair. There will be time enough for that later. The most important thing is that the affair is over. Yes you will miss her, but you would miss anyone you had a relationship with.
Affairs are just like an addiction. You miss the beer, you miss the drugs, you miss whatever...everyday that goes by those feelings start to go away. There are reasons people have addictions. They are trying to fill a void. Be honest with yourself what that void is and fill it the right way.
If you do not, you will be a rat running through a cheeseless maze.
