Hi Andy. Tough questions!!!! I'll ask you a couple questions back. Would you be able to enjoy Christmas with Mr. B at your house? Do you think he would come? Which house would the children prefer?
Yeh! and you asked a couple of toughies back. When you starting this new thread of yours anyhow? Hope you're well and thanks for keeping in touch Matilda.
My vote is for option 3 - do nothing other than what you have agreed to.
She also said that the children should come to me for Christmas and she would come across, as she had last year, and stay for Christmas lunch.
Seems she is clear about what she wants, why muddy waters with Mr B at the lunch table? I reckon she likes the tradition of 'your' family at lunch in your place. Now, if you should have a lady friend present too, maybe she may not suggest this next year. If you really have moved on, you would most likely have new interests in your life, not pander to the interests in her life.
Thanks Matilda (where's that new thread?), Slowly (Singapore bound), AMD (yes, I'm back).
Here's are some answers to those questions.
Would you be able to enjoy Christmas with Mr. B at your house? I've still never met the guy. Not much chance of it happening before Christmas either. So a first time meet on Christmas morning would be less than ideal. So that's probably a "no".
Do you think he would come? Difficult one to answer but if roles were reversed I'm not sure I would feel comfortable. So a "not sure" on that one.
Which house would the children prefer? I asked them this and they both said "yours". D12 said she felt "more at home" which in a way you would expect. I'm still in the family home and it has been one point of stability since the separation. It is bigger too which gives them more personal space as well making it the house of choice for sleepovers. They did add that they felt sorry for Mr B. because his brother lives abroad and his parents down south somewhere. So he will be on his own on Christmas morning. Both would feel sorry for me too if I was left on my own. They also hinted that I seemed to be the barrier to meeting Mr B. Apparently I said at some point in the past that "I didn't need to meet Mr B". Only time I said that, I think, was when they moved in together a year ago. Up to that point I had a real desire to meet and know more about this guy. After all the children were going to spend 50% of their lives with him. So I said that a while after the move had taken place when it became obvious we weren't going to meet.
Slowly, what you say makes a great deal of sense and in some ways I probably haven't moved onas much as I would like to think. I still "pander to the interests in her life" more than is good for me. So I'll not "muddy the waters". There has been some female interest in my life this year. But the way things have been in recent months anything more than a friendship wouldn't really work.
Christmas tree is up. I made a better fist of it this year and my D12 said it looked great. No MIL this year by the way. She's not well enough to make the journey. So it will be just the four of us on Christmas morning and for lunch. Then when the children go to Mr B's they will have another Christmas present opening ceremony like last year.
Hey, longest post I've done in ages. Thanks again too - it's always good to hear from you.
Gee, it's hard to believe that Christmas is just a week away. I haven't decorated much since we'll be away for the holiday. Since you not around much I'll wish you a Merry Christmas now! Hope you have a good day!!! Matilda
P.S. Andy, I did start a new thread--kept to the "Waltzing" theme so you shouldn't have any trouble finding me (in Piecing).
How was your Christmas, Andy? Hope things went smoothly and you had an enjoyable time. Keep in touch. Happy New Year! Wishing you the best in 2007! Matilda
Slowly
Thanks again too - it's always good to hear from you. 