Yep, the old Phoenix has been low on the radar these days. Somewhat because I have been very busy, some times just a matter of not knowing much of what to say or do. It's tough to try to help someone else when you feel like you are not on much better ground. Some days I can see what I should be doing and can be excited about life, others it's a matter of feeling like "hey, she can keep all this crap", but that goes away pretty fast.

It's kind of struck me funny the other night, too often in our sitch, especially in the beginning, W wanted to play things off as, " I don't like what you are, what you do and I don't even much want to acknowledge your presence". So I was sitting there watching a show, she can through once or twice, then when a scene came on she really liked she stopped, sat down and really got into it. At the end she stopped and looked over at me, like you do when you want to see that a person who is close to you (or good friend) experienced something the same way you did. I smiled back and with all my might I fought off the urge to say, "If we are so "disconnected", why do you care what I think or feel about what we just saw"? So I just sat there and acted as if. The more I watch W I know that it's MLC. But I know I won't be able to solve it for her, nor does she want me too. So I smile and just go along for the ride.

Love "as if", the phrase of the day, month.....

Lately I have fallen into a real bad need to fall into an old habit. Usually once a month I would buy my W flowers. Needless to say, it has been a while. I'm not even sure if it would be received well. So DB girls, put in your votes. I was always one who believed that a hard working Mom and W deserved flowers, especially after a tough week. This was my way of saying I appreciate her, love her and want her to know how important she was to me.

Anyhow the lines are now open vote now and vote often.