HELP! I need to get over the OW.

[Holly06]

Aid,
I was just lurking around and read this thread. I had a lightning bolt moment of understanding that I want to share with you. I just want you to consider this.
My D's are obsessed with TV show Friends. There is an eposode where Ross, who just married Emily has to give up his friendship with Rachael, a woman who he truly loved and moved on from. In order for his new marriage to continue, he must chose between friendship and marriage.
He choses marriage, but viewers and other characters truely see how hard and maybe impossible this choice will be to follow through with.
Now, this is not your sitch at all. But to MLC, even this friendship that you are asking him to chose to give up might be impossible to do. If Emily would ask for diminishing contact, or including her in all contact, she might have had a chance. But cold turkey, even in a friendship might be impossible at this time. Be patient with him if you want to win the war.
If I was ask to give up an important friendship, or my family to have my marriage back, this would be a tough choice to make. My friends and family have been there for me. But we do ask ourselves, can we cheat and still call our family even though the relationship is outlawed? What is the harm, my family is a different kind of relationship than marriage,,,,,,,
see how easy it is to be drawn into breaking a promise?
Let the affair die. It will. Let it strangle itself and become so distasteful that you will KNOW it is over.
Holly