Jokerman, where are you? Hope you're okay. This is aidandylan (I changed my screename to aid because I was paranoid that H would find the website and figure it out). Hope you're okay.
I am still trying to understand this whole addiction thing. My H does seem to be addicted (as evidenced by the title of my thread, "Breaking the OP Addiction). H has come back to me on so many occasions saying I'm the only one for him, only to have on a number of occasions him going back to her for a day here a day there.
Well, I found out last week that H and OW still talk and text -- they are friends. The last time he had come home, i made it clear that he could only come back if he cut contact with OW. He agreed to it, but didn't do it. He said he did, but I found out that it was not the case.
This last time he came back, he said this time he would break off contact with her. So on Friday, he left her a message saying that they cannot talk any longer unless it's work related. I have a few thoughts/fears about this.
First, i am totally surprised that my H did this. I find myself wondering if he put the phone on mute when he left the message or if he called someone elses voice mail (even though I heard her voice on teh message). I frakly just can't believe he was finally willing to do this.
Second, if it is all legit, then I worry that he'll go through withdrawls adn not only that, they do see each other on a work basis (tomorrow night at a dinner for one).
I don't know what to do anymore. I want to beileve him, but H is a weak person and seems to have trouble denying himself of anything.
UGH... how can OW be gone for good? And when will I ever feel like she's gone for good? I've thought she was gone for months... and for months, I continue to see thta she is still in the picture.
My take is that H really does wnat to be here and really does want to spend his life with me. But he still has trouble staying away from horrible OW. He doesn't know how to handle pain, so he gives into anythign taht will give him immediate relief from the pain -- classic covert depression if you ask me.
