On the kids issue. They are very much a part of everything, But personnaly, I found more reasons to leave when considering that factor. "Our kids need a healthy home life", "They need to know what true love between a daddy and mommy is like.", "Tommy acts so much better when he is with me or with you but when we are all together he is a holy terror", "I want what is best for the children", "I think we are staying together for the kids", etc..
Now that all of this has come out, it means a hell of a lot of work to fix. Put simply, Staying means work, but it can also mean that somthing good has come of all of this.
Did the W know about the A. Yes. She suspected when I left, but when I returned I broke down and told her all about it. Very painful experience, but here is where it has got me.. I don't have any secrets. I don't have to lie about anything anymore. This hurt everyone, even the OP. but it was necessary. I know that if my marriage is going to work, there has to be trust.
I'm so glad I found this board. Talking about this is helping me deal with it all. Thanks to everyone.
