I certainly take your point, I can't imagine the pain of putting your kids through this. I guess what I mean is that kids are a little bit of glue that can help bind a spouse to you. Jokerman has said many times that his kids were a major factor in him deciding to return to his wife. Maybe it's just the fact that having kids means you were (at one point at least) very committed to each other and maybe are more likely to be again. Certainly us trying for a baby was one of the factors that drove my h away - even though it was his idea - the thought of suddenly being trapped with another kid (he has a d8 from a previous R) seems to triggered his departure (along with the arrival of the OW)
Sorry for the highjack!
You cannot teach a man anything; you can only help him discover it in himself. Galileo Galilei
