Be frank. One time I had to tell my H that the last thing I ever needed from him was pity. He might think he is conforting you, let him know that his suggestions of "dont' worry" or "calm down" don't help and if anything give you the wrong idea, that you understand something else when he says "dont worry". I bet you a million bucks this will be a revelation to him.
I can't say this enough, give him TIME, tell him you are willing to wait, I did, it killed me not to have him, but by pulling away he came to me in the end, he also told me that he didn't hate me but that he didnt... you know the rest.
He is w/me now and still doesnt say ILY but I can feel a bit more affection each time we see each other, we are learning to be friends and to love-on his part, and to trust-on my part, again.
Be not afraid...I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten Joel2
30something 2kids survivor of S, MLC, A, D I have peace in my heart, at last.
