How to handle H in separate room

[inpain_dup1]

I know you're all right but I just can't seem to calm myself. I feel like I can't breath every when he's not here. I feel happy when he is here. I'm terrified of what the future holds. I am not a strong person. I need some closure on this situation one way or another for the sake of my health and for my S sake. I don't want to look back and feel like I wasted my S's first years because I was miserable. My S has had two months of a miserable Mum. I'm really seriously considering filing for D myself now just to end the uncertainty. I hate uncertainty - I always have. I can't carry on living in our house, sleeping in our bed, looking after our S on my own for much longer. I know I can't and it scares me because I am going to end up doing the one thing I'm trying to avoid just to give my heart and head some peace.