Don't worry about messing up. Sometimes it does take the LBS time to get the hang of things. It sounds like your husband is still working through a lot of things. I can see how a very slow, gradual reconcilation could be a good thing for both of you. You may need this time to relax, learn to let go of expectatinons and learn to wait for your husband to work through stuff. That seems like a positive thing. You just need to be patient and keep focusing on yourself, your own strength (if your husband died tomorrow in a car accident you'd go through pain, but you'd also need to be strong and help others get through it). Keep working on you and don't worry about him. Also, work on building a good strong friendship before you get to the other stuff. That's what's ultimately going to hold you both together.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
