How to handle H in separate room

[brandnewday]

First question...
Do you want him to move back under these circumstances?
From your post it doesn't seem like it.
You do need to understand that yes the goal is to have him come back, but you also get to have a say in what happens to your relationship.

IF you cannot emotionally handle this arrangement DON'T DO IT.

My H moved back home after moving out but he moved into his own space.

I was NOT allowed to go in there under any circumstance.
He joined in all of the family activities, ate dinner with us, watched TV with us, we even went on a few dates, but that was HIS space.

Gradually he began to spend the nights in our bed again, but this process took several months.

I did not pursue him, I took it very slowly and gave him his space.
In some ways it was good that we each had our own corners to retreat to, as there was so much unresolved anger between us.

Unfortunately he got a job far away so now he doesn't live at home anymore...BUT we talk several times on the phone each day and are im the process of moving so we can all be together again.

On the plus side, my marriage in some ways has become better.
Our communication is stronger and we have rebuilt the friendship between us that we lost along the way.

So in answer to your questions, play it by ear, let him set the pace and treat him as if he were just a friend.

He needs to be able to trust you and this is a way for him to test the waters.