Sorry I haven't posted in a month. Things have been very busy around my place as I am playing the single mother role. So much has happened that it will take me a while to catch it all up but bottom line is my H is still with OW and brought her around his brothers a couple weeks ago and they were all extremely uncomfortable and pretty upset. Let's just say they weren't accepting of her at all. His brothers invited him to go paintballing and he showed up and then told them he forgot his cell phone at his apartment so he left and came back with OW. They didn't know what to say or do so they just all tried to shoot her with paintballs I thought that was kinda funny!! His family, mostly MIL, made it VERY clear to him the next day that she was very upset about it.
I've been going back to counceling with a different councelor this time...it is the councelor that refered the Divorce Remedy to a friend who refered it to me so I knew going in he would understand my train of thought and where I was coming from. On my first visit though he mentioned that it definately sounds like I've been doing a lot of thinking and am very dedicated to my marriage he is very concerned about the drug issue as I've seen signs that he is using again.
H has been much more blatent about his relationship with her in the last month so I decided for my mental and emotional health I was no longer going to go into his apartment and for the last few weeks that has been working out well.
The night he went paintballing he told his brother in front of OW that he stays with her most of the week.
Sadly after 7 months my H has no intentions of getting help for his drug and alcohol problem, our marriage or anything else. I am actually to a point that I am at peace and ready to let go of my marriage and move on...not seeing him makes my life so much more enjoyable and less stressful. I talked with my lawyer on Monday and I am possibly going to serve him papers in the next couple weeks. I thought a couple months ago that it was just a bad time...that's why I was thinking about divorce but I have really got to a place that I am seriously thinking that my H has nothing for me.
I am also very frustrated at the fact that my brother's wife just left him this last Sunday...she gave the usual I don't love you anymore speech and said she was finding an apartment. She is unwilling to work on any aspect of their marriage also...can I tell you that after she watched and heard everything I've been through she's doing the same thing to my brother and putting him and his family through this again. They only live 15 minutes from me and we did a lot together and talked a couple times a week...she knew everything that was going on with me and my H...HURT is not even the word to describe it.
Sadly I think this is what just topped it off...I'm done with the irresponsible and undedicated people in this world. It is so frustrating to have so much dedication and be willing to do anything and have your spouse so willing to do NOTHING in regards to saving your marriage...just toss it away like a piece of trash.
I've spent 7 months trying to save my marriage as my H has spent 7 months showing me that he has made his choice.
I asked him a couple weeks ago if this is what he wants, if he wants a divorce. He just kept saying "that's what we are going to do." I got a bit frustrated and said "if you want a divorce just tell me and I'll do it....tell me to my face right now that you don't want me and want a divorce." For some rediculous reason he wouldn't say he wanted a divorce.
I hope everyone keeps up their divorce busting as long as possible and I will still be checking in...I would also love to hear anything anyone has to say.
So it's been 3.5 years since my last post...and I'm still alive...and still sane...for the most part It's been a rocky road to say the least but God has been good to me and Divorce Busting has been a huge blessing in itself!
It has been almost 4 years since our separation and 3 years since our divorce has been final and my ex-H has come back around when him and OW have broke up but has always gone back to OW. They recently broke up a month and a half ago and he is coming around again...though this time there is more communication and he is seeming to be putting his neck out...I am too! Our S is 4.5 and visitation is a constant battle as he does not care for going between houses. Now that me and ex-H are 28 and have experience a lot of stuff I'm hoping that we can possibly pull things together.
There is a lot of water under the bridge but I just feel so blessed in my life right now to have learn as much as I have about life itself. It surely hasn't been easy but I truely think different about life now.
Anybody with any input on trying to rekindle after 4 years would definitely be of help at this point. We met for coffee last Saturday, 5 days ago, then he showed up where we were hiking on Sunday and then asked me to go to breakfast this morning with him and S and I accepted. I have continued to invite him to different things as they arrise which generally he doesn't ever show up. I invited him to do something with me tomorrow night and he has plans but is actually asking about me. I'm trying not to stick my neck out too far but I feel this is the last time around this block and I wanna lay it all out there and let him know how I feel and that I'm truely intrested in giving it a shot. This is the most effort he's put into anything with our family in 4 years so here's to hoping
Wish me luck and please extend any advice or insight!
I thought that was kinda funny!! His family, mostly MIL, made it VERY clear to him the next day that she was very upset about it.
It's been a rocky road to say the least but God has been good to me and Divorce Busting has been a huge blessing in itself!