So I'm still in a funk. I have just been so frustrated with my H's selfishness this week...I texted him yesterday morning and said "since you are having S late Tuesday why don't u just keep him for the night Tues instead of Sunday?" Two seconds after I sent the text he called and was perterbed because he would rather have him Sunday night...then came out that he had plans later Tuesday night...he said he wanted to go to Taco Tuesday again at the Brick a bar downtown. Really I believe he wanted to hang with OW without his S...it's so sad...reality is, that's how his life would be...him, OW, and S, when he has his son instead of trading someone shifts and working the one night a week that his S is supposed to spend the night. Right now I'm just so disturbed because I've wanted a baby my whole life...now I get one and my H leaves me for OW and then wants S when and only when it is convenient for him and I'm supposed to loose time with my S like I signed up to be a part-time mom. Then he must have realized what he said didn't sound so good that he would rather go to the bar and hang out than have his S spend the night and started texting me nice messages like "i'm sorry i changed the plans at the last minute" and "i want to see my S as much as I can and would take him both nights if i could." I'm no dummy...this isn't the first time he's portrayed that he's busy and only wants to take S when it is convenient for him...he doesn't ever say that straight out, but he doesn't have to. I didn't text anything back to that last text and then he called me a few minutes later and left me a voicemail saying "i don't want to start any animosity and if there's anything i can do to fix this i will...I'll keep S over night Tuesday that's fine." I just feel like he's trying to be nice to work me and have me say "oh don't worry about it...if you have plans Tuesday i'll keep S." I'll keep S everyday of the week...that's my goal...I don't want him to take him just cause he feels obligated or anything...I love spending time with him. He's the cutest baby in the world.
I just feel like after a good solid 5 months my H would stop taking everything in his life for granted and stop being so selfish which last week he seemed like he snapped out of it a bit but this week he's starting to get pissed at me cause I'm not kissing his butt. He is mad today because he wants to take S to his dad's b-day party tomorrow and I said that S and I won't be back to our house until after they are already supposed to be there and he texted back "you're the boss." Once again trying to make me feel guilty and controling for not letting him have S when it really is his choices that got him here. I'm just wondering how long it will take for him to get it...why doesn't he get it yet that he can't have his cake and eat it too??
