Roller coaster ride it is. H called last night on his way to work and was nice and asked about his moms dog getting attacked and we chatted for a couple minutes...he was really nice and said he was going to call me and come over today to hang out...didn't sound as excited as he did on Tuesday but oh well right??!!
Oh well...NOT. H must be getting along with OW again because he came over today and basically was as guilty as ever...pretty much like he'd just slept with someone...probably did. His mom was at my house too and he couldn't look at either one of us...didn't the whole time. It was the most uncomfortable time I've had with him in 4 months....can I say it went horrible. I could barely keep my comments in. The only thing I asked is what he did with my S's picture that he took when he moved into his apartment and he wouldn't answer. I said "I want it back if you aren't going to put it out because it's probably at someone's house that I would never want my son's picture at anyway!!" He said "what??" so I repeated myself and he did a nervous chuckle and said "you're being dumb." Then in his nervousness said about 10 minutes later that he thinks it's in his closet...can I call a BIG BS on that one. I wasn't born yesterday and I'm surely not stupid.
It was an all around bad visit...he was distant, guilty, texting, not paying attention to me or son. Telling me how he wants to change his visitation schedule next week and how he's working Monday, the one night that our S spends the night with him so he could go party on Saturday...he did a shift change with someone. Then he wants to keep him late on Tuesday so he can take him to the zoo to see the Christmas lights...never ever did that stuff with us before...sure it was OW's idea...he was all weird asking if he could have him and was even weirder trying to tell me where he was going.
He was just in this mood to deceive and lie...for some reason it just set me off tonight. Sadly I'm starting to think he is deceiving me all the time to get his way. I always know when we're doing good it will be over soon and he'll treat me like a stranger again. I'm always waiting for that to happen now. I'm starting to question my DBing and marriage saving.
I talked with a mutual friend today that he works with and the deceit was raised to a new level. Her S's daddy lives with her and has a girlfried too like my H and they are feeding eachother. It is horrible...we were both crying on the phone...both of us know a little and my H is lying to her too...we all used to be such good friends and our men are lying and deceiving everyone around them daily. My H covers for his friend cheating on his kids mom and my H's friend covers for him cheating on me. Neither one of them can keep eachother accountable and are actually just encouraging eachothers lies!! My H is hanging out with a bunch of new people that he can convince of his wife kicking him out and have them accept him
I'm going to call my lawyer and see when the courts generally give 30 days before they dismiss my filing. Not that I'm ready to serve him right now but I may be seriously considering it if he keeps up like this...it's pure torture and I feel like I'm just going to snap one of these days.
The lies and deceit are too much...OW doesn't even know...he's deceiving everyone around him of his life and all of his secrets...how can he live like this??
I'm going to take a step back this week and spend as little time as possible with him...I'm going to let him know nicely that he doesn't need to meet me for lunch to feed S on Monday and Tuesday and let him know I need some space right now. When I drop S off or pick him up I'm going to be nice and friendly, very brief, take care of business and go. I'm done playing his deceitful game. He needs to figure his life out and I don't want to be in the middle of the drama...I need some time to get back on track and seeing him, especially like he was tonight was REALLY hard. It was like Thanksgiving, the comments he made then...I can't take his life choices right now and I need some time to set some goals for myself and some boundaries.
Sorry for the venting but sadly I allowed my whole night to be affected by the 40 minutes he was at my house today not paying attention to his family. I'm just hurt to the core because of his insensitivity.
