I saw my H at lunch today as I usually do on Mondays and Tuesdays since he watches S1 and brings him to me to nurse. H keeps wanting me to ween our S1 out of his convenience. I just can't fathom the thought of stopping this bond with my S and I out of convenience for him...who right now is apparently never planning on moving back in with his family.
He expressed regret today about getting a lease on his apartment, but only for the sake of our dog which he would like to have stay with him sometimes. I guess at least he's missing something, but what about ME??!! I asked him how much it cost to break the lease and he actually told me...it's 2 months worth of rent $1600. When it would have only been $35 a month extra to not get a lease...1.5 hours of overtime for him and he's working like 20 hours of overtime a week...make any sense to anyone else...cause it doesn't to me...except OW was with him and I'm sure she wanted to make sure he was stuck!
He was on a high at lunch...kinda depressing for me but I went along with it. Then when I picked S1 up after work he could barely keep his eyes open. Have I ever stated "I don't get any of this??" It doesn't seem like he's spending as much time with OW but I really have no idea. Today I just was down a bit just wishing that my H loved me and would say SOMETHING regarding our future together...something positive that is...no such luck!!
I was very good at keeping my thoughts to myself regarding all of his comments at lunch about OW and her H drama...she's trying to get him arrested because of his new girlfriend...she's under 18 and he's 25 and blah blah blah...he said "and why am I telling you all of this." I replied "you really don't have to, because it doesn't concern me, it's not my worry, and I thank God for that!!" I wasn nice in saying it of course but I let him know I'm really not interested in knowing anyway.
So far I'm staying on track pretty well as for my DBing. It's not easy to NOT tell him how I feel...especially today at lunch...but I did it...I am so proud that I'm getting so strong. I just know it won't help anything...at least right now.
