just gettin started on my life w/o H

[cat03]

SHE will always be in our bed with us. (when we have a bed together again that is)

No she wont, I was also feeling the VERY same way, and just wrote a post to someone else about this. Our sex life w/our Hs was a loving one, not a crazed-delusional-forbidden endorphin the SL during an A was, our SL was a connection of two people who chose to be w/each other, the SL with the ops was just a need for a drug the WAS have, a bandaid for a void the WAS want to fill.

Now and then I think about my H's A when we ML, but it comes and goes in a sec. We were each other's first, but I always try to remember that I was his love and he choose me, he didn't run to me to drown his voids nor because his head was in a thick fog.
I refuse to let the op into my bedroom, I try new things w/my H that I know he's never done before, I create new memories w/him.