just gettin started on my life w/o H

[ForPeanut]

hc-
Totally know the devastation you feel. My H and I were the one and only for each other before this OW. Really disgusts me to think about them having sex or doing anything that we used to do. It really hurts the whole image of when he comes back too. I found out the day of the bomb that they had slept together and really let him have it about how it made me feel. Obviously didn't help my case any. And then since we stayed "friends" in our house for a couple weeks after that and I still wanted to when the opportunity presented itself, we slept together a few times. It was weird and still is to think that now he has something to compare us to. Since I don't. The whole thing really sucks and I am no where near "over it" but it has faded and isn't the only thing I think about any more. I did for a while and still have an image flash once in a while. Grosses me out and makes me so jealous at the same time. The depressing realization that he isn't "mine" anymore and never will be just mine again. SHE will always be in our bed with us. (when we have a bed together again that is) Anyway, the encouragement I have for you is that the images will fade and I am in your same boat honey.

I hope the positive attention from him continues for you! I will check in again soon!
~T