Quote: Should I stay out of the picture when it comes to H's family? I have been in the family for 8 years now...since I was 16. This is all just not fair!! My H acts like he can't be happy if I'm in the vacinity but I'm still exceptionally nice to him and am always happy around him. I'm curious as to why if he's the one having the affair why he's the one who's depressed and grumpy.
No, I wouldn't aliate myself if my ILs were supportive of me and wanted me around, you have a different R with ILs and they've choosen to have you around, I don't see why you'd have to stop seeing because your H has his head up his arse right now.
As for your H, I'm sure guilt and shame make him feel unconfortable when you are around, but that is HIS problem, you aren;t in his face, you just happen to be with family who welcomes you, so don't fret about it.
Quote: Whatever, that didn't happen until after she kicked me out
YEA right, that's pretty much blaming you for his deed, you arent' at fault, a person goes into an A all by his/herself and it's pretty lame that he wants to pin his mistakes on you, dont' buy that BS.
Below is an excerpt of a great article, follow the link for the whole thing, it will help you see why your H is acting the way he's been acting. You work on yourself, keeping deciding each day to be happy, you can make it)))))))
Quote: About the only people more dangerous than philandering men going through life with an open fly and romantic damsels going through life in perennial distress, are emotionally retarded men in love. When such men go through a difficult transition in life, they hunker down and ignore all emotions. Their brain chemistry gets depressed, but they don't know how to feel it as depression. Their loved ones try to kee from bothering them, try to keep things calm and serene - and isolate them further
An emotionally retarded man may go for a time without feeling pleasure, pain, or anything else, untd a strange woman jerks him back into awareness of something intense enough for him to feel it - perhaps sexual fireworks, or the boyish heroics of rescuing hff, or perhaps just fascination with her constantly changing moods and never-ending emotional crises.
With her, he can pull out of his depression briefly, but he sinks back even deeper into it when he is not with her. He is getting addicted to her, but he doesn't know that. He only feels the absence of joy and love and life with his serenely cautious wife and kids, and the awareness of life with this new woman. It doesn't work for him to leave home to be with her, as she too would grow stale and irritating if she were around full time.
What he needs is not a crazier woman to sacrifice his life for, but treatment for his depression. However, since the best home remedies for depression are sex, exercise, joy, and triumph, the dangerous damsel may be providing one or more of them in a big enough dose to make him feel a lot better. He may feel pretty good until he gets the bill, and sees how much of his life and the lives of his loved ones this treatment is costing.
