Don't give up on your marriage just yet! If your H actually says he loves you you have a lot more than a lot of us do. My H is very distant and it seems that he wouldn't even think of saying he loves me....though sometimes the look in his eyes tells me different.
My advice would be DB, DB, DB!!! Your H is going through a weird time and you are right he is very confused as my H is. They really don't know what they want and aren't sure if the M will go back the way it was. You have to do your 180 and go from there...it will make you feel better about yourself and in turn will make you a more attractive person to your H. My 180 has caught my H's eye but he's still not willing to give up OW.
You are so strong to be enduring this S for 9 long months. I am at three months and wonder "How long can I live like this?"
I encourage you to try and keep having hope for your marriage but expect nothing out of your H...in an affair and during this time they are very selfish and are seeking happiness and love in all of the wrong places....if he sees you stick by his side through all of this he may come to his senses.
