just gettin started on my life w/o H

[ForPeanut]

Just wanted to stop in and let you know that I am there with you. (click my thread to hear my saga) My H and I have been together 8 years and are just now preg with our first so it is encouraging to me that even though your H doesn't always show he is interested in your son, maybe they can come through and have some sense of family.

The nice thing with you and his new place is that he has allowed you to be there and see it. You can at least keep tabs on what kind of envir your son will be visiting.

My H also has started using marij (pretty sure-hasn't admitted it but all his friends he is now hanging out with are daily users). I have been very worried about how this will affect his visits and if I can somehow monitor this. Obviously he isn't telling me the truth about a lot of things and certainly wouldn't about something like that.

I too am counting on the OW theory of only lasting 6-8 mos. My H has been involved with his OW for about 5 mos so I am hoping that we are getting to the end of this. A social worker I talked to told me that same stat and said that it is probably good that he spends so much time with her so that he has time to see her for who she really is and get sick of her. (if he is going to) She also said that even if they do stay together, usually, just like with rebound romances, it will be an unhappy 1-2 year R or M for them and then he will be "on the street" again and by then, we will have moved on.

I will check in soon, you seem to be on the right track and I am still trying to get there. We can use all the help we can get right? Keep doing what you are doing to DB and give your son tons of hugs! Hopefully one day soon our Hs will wake up and decide they want their families back and be willing to do what it takes to keep us.