I think I mentioned somewhere that I've started attending counseling sessions with my bf and his wonderful therapist every other week. BF still goes by himself on the intervening weeks. I've been with him three times so far.
BTW, I gave the C the book Peace Between the Sheets and he's reading it and sees how it might help me and BF get back in the groove. This is the C that my late H went to also, and uncannily, he is also the perfect C for my BF. They were both raised by single moms who smothered them, both suffer from physically caused ED, both divorced-- C is enough older to serve as a father figure. Anyway, he's perfect.
Now-- on to the intriguing title of my post:
My bf has major mom issues. His mom is still living (89) and runs a bar. She puts out major inappropriate sexual vibes to this very day, and it came out in our counseling session yesterday (me and bf's, that is) that his mom (she raised him alone-- he is an only child) used to run around the house in bra and panties when he was a young boy and when he was as old as 9 or 10, would occasionally come into the bathroom when he was in the shower and handle what she called his "gadget." When he told this, I cried... for the little boy who couldn't protect himself from this mother and yet couldn't live without her either. As a very young boy, he did sleep in the same bed with her (not sure what age).
His mom used to beat him, and he told me once that she would make him go out and cut a switch from a shrub (he still lives in that house, and he has cut that shrub down to the ground more than once!) and when she would start to hit him, she would hold her tongue and mouth in a peculiar way. Don't know exactly what that means, but it gives me the creeps.
Once I did come upon him in the shower with the intention of "fooling around," and he all but threw me out of the room. Now I know why.
As icky as this is, I'm glad it's coming out in the sessions with the C. The way it came out was I point-blank asked BF in front of C: "Were you ever sexually molested by your mom?" C picked up on that and asked some very gentle questions where the above info came out.
BTW, he FINALLY paid his ex the money he owed her from two years of not paying child support due to being unemployed after he lost his job and had heart surgery, etc. AND today is his twins' 18th birthday. Pretty ironic, eh? Or cosmic, if you prefer to look at it that way.
Re his mom's inappropriate sexual remarks: last night the three of us went to a class (taught by his C, as a matter of fact-- the class on Forgiving Yourself that I mentioned on cobra's thread-- where is that guy anyway?) and when I walked up she complimented me on my blouse and then said to both of us that the men in the bar told her they were going to buy her a tight t-shirt to wear instead of those loose high-necked blouses she usually wears. She told this with great delight and much giggling.
