JM and Mike, What's your perspective on writing him a letter to let him knonw exactly where I stand.
I also posted this letter to my thread on the MLC board. I want to get opinions before I do anything potentially damaging.
Quote: Dear H, I apologize for creating an environment that helped make your affair with OW possible. As you know, I have taken responsibility for the mistakes in made in our marriage and I have put forth every effort to correct those mistakes.
During the last 5 months of our reconciliation, I have made it clear in my actions that I was willing to forgive and move forward toward a new and improved marriage. I put my heart and soul into meeting the needs you said were lacking in our relationship. And I was happy to do it to save our marriage and to bring you back into my heart again.
Unfortunately, that wasn’t enough, as you are seemingly continuing some form of relationship with OW and have not been upfront with me about it. As you know, we made an agreement in counseling that you would tell me if and when you would speak to and/or see OW, and that did not happen. I do not know the extent of your relationship or how often you see her. At this point, those details don’t even matter. What I do know is that you are being dishonest with me about it, despite your previous commitment to severing ties and opening up to me with total honesty.
At this point, I am unwilling to continue a relationship with you in any fashion, except for that of a parenting relationship, while your relationship with OW continues or while the lying and deception continue. If ever there comes a time when she is not in your life and when you decide you want to be an honest and honorable person, I would be willing to talk to you about it. But in the meantime, I have decided to move forward with my life and try to find happiness without you.
All I ever wanted throughout all this was the ability to rebuild our marriage… to build a life for each other whereby we could make each other happy… to be the best friends we once were. I have loved you completely for 13 years and continue to love you. But I simply cannot be in this relationship with you if you are not in it 100% and willing to do what it takes to be in an honest, faithful and committed marriage.
All my love, me
Anyone else who has an opinion, please let me know. Oh and by the way, I got this idea from a book called, "Surviving an Affair" by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr. and Dr. Jennifer Harley Chalmers.
