Mike, My H's OW is single and 30 (my H and I are both 32). She has never been married. She lost a fiance in 911. She was with some guy for 3 years and she was living with him. She told him to hit the road when she got together with my H. She is unattached. No kids. No restrictions. And like I said, every guy's dream. A cool hang-out chick.
I keep hearing you all talk about guilt. I have to say, I really don't think my H has guilt. I think he finds ways to justify it in his head. He doesn't seem to care about huring anybody. He will do what he has to do to make himself feel good, regardless of who it hurts in the process (his kids included).
So, here we are... Wed night and we haven't heard from him since Monday. Hasn't checked on the kids or anything. Hasn't asked to see them.
He seems to have no problem saying to me that things are "going great" and the going straight to her.
JM and Mike... did you at one time think your OWs were your soul mate? i mean, did you feel like you had more in common with them than your Ws? that's what I really struggle with. We have stuff in common like our history, our family, our kids and we do have some common interests... we like the same TV shows, we like working on our house, we like to take walks, etc... But she has the same job as him, plays golf (which is my H's passion in life), loves red sox and patriots, like my H (i can handle a certain amount of sports, but I'm not about to spend my Sunday watching football), plays pool. They're both from RI. You get the point. And at the end of the day, is all that enough? Relationships aren't meant to be in a bubble forever. Part of waht make an R an R is their exposure to the outside elements, like frinds and family... like life responsibilites and problems.
I do find myself constantly competing with someone who seems to have it all over me from the fun, common interest perspective.
I'm in so much pain. My H has come back to me professing his love and commitment too many times only to have him continue to have OW in his life. I'm drained. I'm sad. I'm heartbroken.
