Muddle, this duality, this gemini spirit of our WAS's seems to be another of the great universal themes.
One minute they are full of self righteousness about what they are doing almost to the point of super-human ability to be selfish and self motivated to get what they want. Then minutes, hours, or days later they are basket cases, full of self-loathing and anger but the strength is gone. It's at THOSE times we want to jump in and save them but often I think it's precisely then that we have to merely support from a bit afar.
I HATE to see my W break down, especially since she blames me for so much of it but then again, she blames me for her strength too (e.g. my behavior in the marriage pushed her to take action that she otherwise would not have had the courage or strength to take).
Then there are those rare times when they pop their heads out of the cloud and see something closer to what WE think is reality, that is how damaging their behavior is and such, and it sends them even further spiraling.
It seems like a never-ending cycle but one that I think we have to break out of for all our sakes.
