Lots to ponder there, Muddle. I will be re-reading it later on. You write "This situation we are going through is a test, one that gives us the ultimate opportunity to love under the most difficult of circumstances" but at some point one must decide whether this test is really beneficial to us. A car heading straight for a wall gives me the opportunity to test dealing with my fear, but it might be smarter to jump out of the car. It's hard to know whether your R is heading for that wall and whether it's time to jump out before the crash! One has to decide whether the "test" is worth it. It may be too much to ask each of us to put aside any ego, expectation, and hopes for the R in order to just "be" and find that acceptable. Certainly, by being open to things outside the box, we can grow as people but to accept everything and anything may be too much to ask. I guess I wonder how plausible it is. Theory versus reality, I guess. I sense that you are advocating the "abandon all hope" school of thought, like Pedram Chodrin advises (her book "When things fall apart", I believe is the title). She proposes that hope is what actually creates our pain, if we abandon it then we open ourselves up to the present and all the wonders that lie within that present moment. If we are consumed by what is not loving or what/who has wronged us in our world (things we hoped would be different), we become "unhappy". I guess the point is, we can choose. But, as always theory takes it's lumps when it comes to practise. I think one must become very dedicated to the concept to make it work. Just for the record Pedram Chodrin is also a LBS. Apparently her H came home one night, got out of the car, told her their M was over, got back in the car and drove away. She claims this experience actually helped put her on the road to Buddhism, (not that I'm advocating that faith, just an interesting point) I think she even thanks her husband in the book for making that possible!. So, I will definately re-read your thoughtful post, Muddle and maybe comment further later.
