Quote: If she doesn't care about you anymore, why would this be a problem. Sounds like she is playing you like a puppet. "Jump Muddle!" "How high W?" Ya know?
Yeah, I get you here. I guess I'm concerning myself too much with why she might be doing this, in my attempt to empathize with her, and I'm ignoring the implications this has for me. Again, I'm ignoring my personal boundaries to try and accomodate her - to try and understand her and help her be happy. To fix her. But in the process I lose part of myself because I cease to be a whole person. I need to push back regardless what her reason is for pushing me. This has been a difficult lesson for me to learn because through all of this - through most of my life even - I have had a live and let live attitude but in so doing I haven't pushed back enough to keep my W in her place, focused on herself.
Quote: This also sounds crazy to me and contradictory. Again, she is acting like a spoiled child and you are feeding into it; bending over backwards to make her happy. STOP!! This is really going to cause her to lose respect for you. Stand up for yourself Muddle. Reading your posts I know you can do it and I know you know that you should but somehow you always cave to her ways and outbursts and crumble. I don't mean to sound harsh, I'm just telling it from how I see it. I'm not in your house so I could be totally off base.
I don't think you're off base. I think you're right on. It's a power struggle, and I always somehow let her win - not for being right, but for screaming the loudest. No more. I have in fact really changed in that I don't try and appease her anymore. I do what I do and shrug off her noise. This kills her, and she still tries to use this as a reason I should change, but the fact is that I'm me, if she doesn't want me as I am and respect and appreciate the potential I possess as a person, then she can take a walk. I'm done trying to live up to her expectations. I won't and can't make her happy. I will live my life to the best of my ability.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it. ” – Albert Einstein
