Muddle, thanks so much for the article. It is right on! My own T told me that people, such as my W, who are moral in every other way sometimes have a "hole" (she used a Greek term) that enables them to see something entirely immoral as moral e.g. an affair. This article also hit me when it talks about the OP seeing and filling the void the S tells them about. This is exactly what happened in my sitch. W complained to OP about what was lacking in our R and OP took over and started filling that need. Mission accomplished! As you see my thread deals with "How to compete with perfection", which is how my S views the OP and makes me feel like I must compete, but yes, I am competing with a fantasy. I will certainly keep in mind that the A and subsequent issues are not my fault, I am a very deserving person. This is what pissed me off when she told me I wasn't a very "supportive husband". Wow, talk about being on a different planet! So, thanks again for sharing this.
