Muddle, forget sense, it's a cheesless tunnel. She expects you to accept where she's at and let it go. Do it!Playing devil's advocate here, I think (maybe wrongly) you are in a far better place than where you were a week or so ago. If I recall your W is willing to do C re: raising your son and work on being "friends". Now she's telling you that she feels that you don't listen to her but you get defensive. You proved her right! Your response was "Yes, but...". I have a neat story about a friend of mine who came to me a week or so ago and told me his W wanted to have a R talk. Of course, he knew that wasn't going to bode well for him (cuz us guys know the R talk never does )I lent him DR which he read quickly. The other day he told me that when his W approached him about the R talk he just sat back and listened without the usual deflecting and defending. he said for the first time in 20 years he actually listened to his W and was now going to work at addressing things differently. He was a happy man! I think your W told you how she is feeling and rather than validate it (which doesn't mean agreement) you defended yourself. Maybe you need to try my friends tactic and see how it goes. I know myself, I get so defensive and angry when I'm being accused of this and that (which means I destroyed the R) so I empathize completely. But, I think you need to lose the "poor me" stuff and just accept that yes, you are to blame just as she is. Carry on, I honestly think it's getting better maybe I'm nuts too! Again, just my 2 cents, take it or leave it. I know you are in the fight of your life.
)I lent him DR which he read quickly. The other day he told me that when his W approached him about the R talk he just sat back and listened without the usual deflecting and defending. he said for the first time in 20 years he actually listened to his W and was now going to work at addressing things differently. He was a happy man! I think your W told you how she is feeling and rather than validate it (which doesn't mean agreement) you defended yourself. Maybe you need to try my friends tactic and see how it goes. I know myself, I get so defensive and angry when I'm being accused of this and that (which means I destroyed the R) so I empathize completely. But, I think you need to lose the "poor me" stuff and just accept that yes, you are to blame just as she is. Carry on, I honestly think it's getting better maybe I'm nuts too! Again, just my 2 cents, take it or leave it. I know you are in the fight of your life. 
