It's pretty darn frustrating and, as you say, mind boggling. I have used GAL to show my changes. My W always felt that I was too obsessed with my family (and less so with our R) and did nothing else so I started getting involved with outside things and now am a much more well rounded human being. She sees it. She can rhyme off all the changes I have made. She said "just because I don't say anything doesn't mean I don't notcie". Therefore, I am not the same person who she rejected in the past. She now has to decide whether she wants the new person, or not.
Personally, I still can't quite come to grips with how you displace the fantasy of the OP. It is a fantasy where everything is wonderful because you keep real life out of it! Your W, Muddle, has the added thrill of being able to fantasize all sorts of incredible things because the OP isn't even in the country!Maybe detachment allows us LBS's to be more relaxed in the sitch and therefore makes us more attractive (in theory). Who wants a whiny, sulky, hurt little stress cadet living with you. It may also be a matter of what you can't have becomes more attractive, too. The fact that we wear are hearts on our sleeves is just not too enticing. Where is the romance in that? It's all there laid out on the table, what's to discover. Where's the thrill? Detachment maybe brings that element back into the picture. Who really knows. As always, these are just my disjointed thoughts, take em or leave em!
