I would say that any sexual activity undertaken by a person without their S's enthusiastic agreement is destructive.
Unfortunately, I went through a period where I used porn to deal with the pain of my wife's rejection, and I did it with her knowing about it, and disapproving (even though she was involved in an EA/PA with OM, which I didn't know about). The more my wife withdrew, the more I used porn like some people use drugs or alcohol...to escape the pain and loneliness.
Which of course just created more pain and loneliness, created more distance, and further hampered my ability to become a better husband.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. -- Inigo Montoya, 'The Princess Bride'
