I really do know just what you mean. Ex-H used to brag about "knocking the bottom out of it". I would get very pissed because first of all "it" is attached to me, a live human being with feelings and secondly, I NEVER lay there passively while he "does his thing". I felt that having an equal sexual partnership was essential. Funny, the issue of shared sexual partnership is still with me in my present M.
