The lighting o' the lightbulbs

[cinemanymph]

Is your H like me?

No, Lou, I think that you are more reflective. You take in information, mull it over and come to logical conclusions. My H is more reactive. He takes in information and if it doesn't jibe with anything that is already there, it gets filed in the recycle bin.

Just recently, I found out something very interesting about my H. I am in the habit of listening to a radio talk show in the afternoons, most of which I don't agree with. But being the person I am, can glean something of use from each day. H asked me why I would waste my time listening to someone I don't agree with. I told H I want to know what people are thinking weather I agree with it or not. H repeated that I am wasting my time. You don't strike me as the type of person who would discount others merely because you don't agree with them.

I went to 28 schools from 1st to 10th grade and BB went to 2.

26 for me. 1 for H.

Her parents and whole family treated me better than many of my relatives.

Ditto. My ILs were just angels.

Know it's too late????

I didn't say it was too late, just late. I am getting started late in the game, but better late than never, eh?

Are you sort of borrowing trouble????

I suppose I should discuss this with H. H walks around all puffed up after a good number of our sexual encounters talking about how he "put the hurt" to me. It's as if he views it as a sporting event with at winner and a loser.

It boiled down that the doctors shop in the same stores, stopped at the same traffic lights, went to the same ball games with their kids, had the same phone system as i did. Did it help, only some at the time, but I did see that my community hadn't changed so much as I had.

I see how this works. The community is the same, POVs change it for each person.

You know some people have those good feelings that last a long time. How do they do it? Could you do part of what they do/feel?

I know that people make connections and keep them going for a lifetime. Finding out how they do that is on my list of priorities. I can make connections with people but don't know what to say or do afterwords, it's very akward. I need to find out how to continue the connection. I suspect it has to do with trust.

I wish I could help you see how other people hang on to those good feelings one gets from good relationships.

Thank you, Lou. I wish you could, too.

Everyone is welcome to chime in here and tell me how this particular part of their lives works for them.

So, has he ever attended sexual abuse classes or counseling sessions or any awareness programs.

No, H will not read/talk to anyone about sexual abuse. It makes me suspect that he may have his own issues.

It's a place to start that is less personal than the nausea, but by with holding this information for many years, are you being honest to the R?

Ya got me here, Lou. I do need to discuss this with H.

You're being a good friend, thank you.