What you said is exactly true! It is difficult to give up those preconceived notions of what things should be...isn't it? That's what I struggled with within my own M with our sitch....once I did though things started relaxing and improving.
Saying those tough things is hard, but you will find once you start saying them....avoiding the conflict will become less and less appealing in the future....because you won't be afraid of it....you will know you can face it.
