The lighting o' the lightbulbs

[cinemanymph]

Thanks for takin' up the gauntlet for me, Corri .

Cemar, ya gotta understand, I am not blaming anyone for my sitch nor trying to fantasize it away, just exploring solutions. I blamed my childhood, my husbands boorish behavior, my exboyfriend who dumped and devastated me, my extremely repressed grandmother. You name them, I blamed them. Putting all my energy into blaming everyone for my problems robbed me of the power to do anything. At the end of the day, it comes down to me and what I can do to make my life and the lives of those I care about better.

My H is taking tomorrow off work. We have the whole day sans children. I am going to tell him about my realization and see where things go from there. I'm scared and excited.