I can't answer most of those questions for you, but ...
Quote: How do I come clean after 10 years of this?
We grow continually throughout our lives. It often takes a long time, and a lot of realizations, to see some behavior for what it is and be ready to deal with it. We bring baggage into our marriages (myself more than anyone), and it is a long growing process to deal with it (hopefully the spouse is also growing along with you). Ten years is actually quite a short time frame in the grand scheme of dealing with these things.
