The Little Black Book

[cat03]

if you knew her face, you've be doing what I've been doing, comparing my self to her in EVERY sence, hair, smile, body, etc etc, it's better you dont know.
About imagining things worse that they really were, it really doesn't help to know details, you do get the satisfaction of knowing, but in the long run it is just bad. Like I posted before, I wanted to know if he gave her something 4 Christmas, he did plan to take her to the Nutcraker ballet, now I hate that ballet group, that play, I hate to hear about it, well, I did until I realize that -he he- the group went on strike 3 times so he had to cancel 3x-he he.

But you get my drift, the more details you know the MORE you want to know, then, you are left w/crystal clear pictures of the H and the whore, you dont' want that baby, really.

Repeat after me, when H was w/slut:

1. He had sh*t in his brains
2. He had his own life appart from yours
3. He did it to himself without ever realizing one day you'd know and hurt
4. It is OVER OVER OVER
5. Though nothing justifies As we had a good part on the downfall of our Ms
6. Each time we think about A and the looser slut we give her power to drain happiness away from us.
7. The sluts care NOTHING for us and dont' deserve our time, not one second.
8. And ultimately, we let the A overshadow everything and we tend to forget what led to the A, we need to address those issues and not let our fears be an obstacle to fully throw ourselves to work hard on our Ms, to love like we've been never hurt, to forgive fully and be free.

And all of the above I just wrote, I have to remind myself every day, some days more than others. It's been barely 2mths since I've learned of it, but again, the sting isnt' as painful anymore, it gets easier as time goes by. I beg the Lord to take that poisoned barb off my heart when it tries to pry open my wounds. We can and will put all that crap behind us if we commit to not give it power... notice I say commit because it is an ongoing process, we don't have a little on/off switch, it is a work in progress.