PERFECT WAY TO PUT IT.. I WAS ONCE a stepford Wife too.... not anymore. And there is that fine line ... I love him now more than ever and yet I realize for him to be happy I have to be happy too I give him unconditional love and I realize that I am human too. I used to feel like that too... "sheesh you hurt me sooooooooo much buddy you can meet me halfway" for a long time and it never worked .
Now that I give 99.99 % of me and who I am to him without the hurt and resentment mixed in he gives back so much too. I just wish I would have found this out a much less painful way. I was always trying to read between the lines what he needed from me and just do that.
.... and then I realized when I changed me from within everything else fell into place. It is kind of like trying to spot reduce on my thighs .. not going to work ...

but if I hit the Gym everyday and really put in the effort ,my whole body will change.

Take care and God bless...