I know we all have different goals and expectations, e.i: I never wanted my H tobe back just because it had become financially impossible to live on his own, others in this board mentioned they wouldnt' want their H back unless he'd come totally clean and recommit.
I've had the same feelings and concerns here. I do think finances played a part in my husband coming back (also I fear he was overwhelmed by the cleaning in his apartment. I was there last night and after 6 months it's now completely disgusting! Even the kids are bothered by it).
My husband was pretty frantic by the amount of money going out to cover two households (which includes a HUGE mortgage), attorneys, daily living expenses and me dragging my heels so he'd have to stay in that crummy apartment longer!!! I'd like to think he came back for love.... I do think it's there, but I think these other things made bachelorhood less appealing.
Before my husband came back I did ask him why he'd want to come back. His answer was "It's familiar." It seemed kind of flat to me. Like there should be something more emotional. But maybe those things are there, it's just hard for them to recognize and express. If they truly wanted out they'd find a way. Also, it's not easy to come back when you go so far.
There is no arriving, ever. It is all a continual becoming.
